fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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