Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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