genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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