there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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