Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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