he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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