Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
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after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
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This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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