Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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