I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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