did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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