I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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