im drinking this country out of the recession.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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