Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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