Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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