I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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