Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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