So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
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Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize