She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
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I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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