Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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