I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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