We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize