I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
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