I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
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Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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