All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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