I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
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Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
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Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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