Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize