Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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