guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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