Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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