I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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