I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
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it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
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We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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