you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
only you would photoshop your dick
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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