Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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