The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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