Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
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The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
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I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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