my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize