i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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