I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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