I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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