wrigley field is MILF paradise
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize