Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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