If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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