You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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