Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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