its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i would punch a child for taco bell
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
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Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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