I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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