How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
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So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
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I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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