Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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