Pappa wants mamma naked
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize