I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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