I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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