i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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